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Bianca P
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PostSubject: You're... here...   Mon Mar 26, 2012 2:19 am

I stirred slightly, feeling a little stiff. But that wasn't the only reason I couldn't move. Someone was in bed with me. But I wasn't in my own bed. I had... a breathing tube in my nose and I could hear a soft beeping sound. I suddenly remembered what had happened. I turned my head softly and saw that my head was softly laying on his chest and his arms were around me. If I wasn't in the hospital bed with the oxygen tube in my nose and IV in my arm, I'd swear I'd died and gone to heaven. I didn't want to wake him. His chest was softly rising and falling as though he was asleep. I couldn't disturb him. I was sure he hadn't really slept in weeks. This was good for him. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the sound of his heart beating in his chest... my favorite sound in the whole world.

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PostSubject: Re: You're... here...   Mon Mar 26, 2012 2:32 am

"Don't be quiet on my account." I mumbled. I didn't sleep often and even now with my eyes closed I wasn't sleeping. I was awake but my eyes were still closed. I was resting those even if the rest of me couldn't rest. "I can always tell the difference in your breathing when your awake. Even with that thing in your nose." I whispered lightly, scrubbing a hand over her arm.
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PostSubject: Re: You're... here...   Mon Mar 26, 2012 2:40 am

The touch of his hand on my arm cause a chill to run up and down my spine. I smiled softly, letting my hand softly slide up his chest, resting just below where my head laid. "I thought you were asleep." I slid my hand over to his side, wrapping my arm around him. "My eyes are heavy, but I don't want to sleep." I didn't. Not while he was here with me and we were in each others arms.

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PostSubject: Re: You're... here...   Mon Mar 26, 2012 2:46 am

"That's okay. I don't want to sleep either." I never did. Not even in this moment. Actually all I could think about was the drugs I needed so damn badly. It was making me sweat. I could feel how damp my forehead was. I'd get the shakes soon enough and she'd know I was suffering. Something I didn't want her to worry about. Not now. Not ever. But especially not now. "Why did you even get anywhere near those death nuts?"
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PostSubject: Re: You're... here...   Mon Mar 26, 2012 2:55 am

I sighed softly, shaking my head. "The dust was already in the air. I had been smelling them all night, but I didn't realize what was wrong until Abigail started yelling at the waiter because of them. And then when I went over by her, the dust was all around her because she had flung the tray on the ground. I didn't think. I hadn't even realized what was happening until I couldn't even breathe anymore." I could feel his chest slightly shaking, but only slightly. If he wasn't holding me, I was sure I couldn't sense it, but I could. I hugged him tighter to me. He was going to leave soon because he needed a hit. I just wished... God, there was nothing I wouldn't do to be more important to him than the drugs, and that he would stay with me and I could help him get through it. I would. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for him. I loved him so much and it hurt me that I wasn't enough for him.

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PostSubject: Re: You're... here...   Mon Mar 26, 2012 3:01 am

"Well it was stupid of you to go over there. You know better." I snapped slightly, feeling a little edgy. "Sorry, it's just... you have people who love you who need you here. You can't be so careless." I couldn't exactly say Tammy or even me. Because she didn't know I knew about Tamara and she didn't know I still loved her... I made a point of shutting her off so she didn't know. "Next time think better. Don't be so clumsy."
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PostSubject: Re: You're... here...   Mon Mar 26, 2012 3:06 am

"You know," I said, not moving my arm, but getting upset just the same, "you can leave if you're going to be so rude. I didn't know there were nuts, there, ok. Can you stop being a prick for like an hour? I know it's hard for you, but I could have died tonight, thank you very much." I didn't want to play the victim, I just didn't like how he was acting, and I wanted him to think about what he could lose. We weren't together, but I wanted him to think about what his life would be like without me in it.

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PostSubject: Re: You're... here...   Mon Mar 26, 2012 3:10 am

I sat up right, glaring down at her, my eyes adjusting slightly to the dark room. "You don't think I know how close you came to dying? You don't think I held you in my arms? Or listened to you gasp for breath? You really think I don't know? Honestly? All because I'm being a dick because you were a dumbass for walking up to the damn things knowing they'd be bad for you! Was this about making me worry? Scaring me? Was this about punishing me?"
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PostSubject: Re: You're... here...   Mon Mar 26, 2012 3:20 am

"What? No! Damnit, Dante! I told you I didn't know that there were nuts at the party tonight! I didn't know! And what A said didn't register! I didn't... I thought my breathing was because you were in the room and that always gets my heart going and makes it hard for me to breathe!" I hated telling him that, because he'd just throw it back in my face, but it just came out.

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PostSubject: Re: You're... here...   Mon Mar 26, 2012 3:23 am

I pulled away, sliding off the bed. "I really need to leave. All I'm doing is upset you and you need to rest. I'll come check on you tomorrow." I needed a hit so badly I felt sick to my stomach. I know she admitted what I felt all the damn time but I didn't want to feel it... I wanted to let this go. All of it. I just wanted to dive nose first in white powder.
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PostSubject: Re: You're... here...   Mon Mar 26, 2012 3:29 am

I shook my head, pulling the sheets up more against my body. "Don't bother," I told him, not really meaning what I said, but I didn't want the dick here. I wanted the man I loved here, and I couldn't have that.

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PostSubject: Re: You're... here...   Mon Mar 26, 2012 3:31 am

"I wish you'd let me go. I wish you'd see that drugs mean more than anything in my life. Even you." I didn't mean it but she deserved better and if I hit her where it hurt maybe she'd finally let me go. Maybe she's finally be smart enough to cut her ties. I sighed, turned and headed to the door. I stopped at the doorway, glancing back at her. "Take care of yourself. I don't think Abby can handle any more loss. Not after Jeff." I walked out, shutting the door behind me.
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PostSubject: Re: You're... here...   Mon Mar 26, 2012 3:38 am

I glared at the door, inhaling deeply. I knew he didn't mean what he said about the drugs being more important. I knew it was just the drugs talking. He wouldn't have cared what happened to me if it was true that he cared more about the drugs than me. He wouldn't have cared that I had been careless. I knew he didn't mean what he said, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt any less... nor did the comment about A and Freddie.

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