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Bianca P
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PostSubject: hey there...   Wed Apr 25, 2012 4:45 pm

School got over and I stopped at the grocer before heading over to the hospital. I got some roses for A. I hadn't been in to see her or even Jackie for that matter since the night they were brought in. I felt too guilty, and I couldn't face them. I hadn't spoken to Dante beyond taking care of the children. But when I walked around the corner to A's room, I saw Dante standing outside the room. Walking slowly over to him I saw the room was empty. "Where is she?"

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PostSubject: Re: hey there...   Wed Apr 25, 2012 9:51 pm

"I have no idea." I said staring in the empty room. "The nurse said she checked out. It's only been a few days since her accident but she's running off..." I sighed, looking at Bianca. "She lost the baby... so she's probably out there grieving all alone. And she ran..." I scrubbed a hand over my face, looking at the flowers and back at her. "Were you finally coming to visit?" I knew I sounded pissy and I guess in a way I was. She had the chance to escape her guilt and run away. I had to face it head on. She got to run from it... and face it days later. I however hadn't had that chance. Maybe I was pissy... because of that.. because the kiss was my fault to begin with and my wife was missing. Probably running off to self destruct alone.
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PostSubject: Re: hey there...   Wed Apr 25, 2012 10:36 pm

I looked at the flowers and back to Dante. "I thought I'd give the two of you time alone." It was a lie. I had been hiding. I hadn't even been here with Jackie the last few days. I took care of the children and worked, because it was easier than facing what we did. "I am sure she went home, D... Dante." I didn't feel right just calling him D. Not after what we did.

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PostSubject: Re: hey there...   Wed Apr 25, 2012 11:12 pm

"Right," I said, leaning in the doorway, my arms folded over my chest as I stared at the empty bed. "Did you even hear me? Or did you not care?" I asked, giving her an eyebrow raise. "Our baby died. I doubt she's headed home..." I shook my head and looked back at the empty bed. You think she'd at least act like she cared... since she didn't even know about the baby.
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PostSubject: Re: hey there...   Wed Apr 25, 2012 11:18 pm

I had been so wrapped up in my own guilt, I hadn't even notice he had said A lost the baby. It took him repeating it for it to actually register. "Oh, Dante..." I shook my head. "This is all my fault." I gave him the flowers and turned to walk away. "I need to go."

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PostSubject: Re: hey there...   Wed Apr 25, 2012 11:20 pm

"Don't." I grabbed her hand, pulling her back toward me. "I need a hug. Hug me... I've been hugging her so much... but she doesn't hug me back. I don't blame her. She's hurting.. but... I need a hug. Please?"
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PostSubject: Re: hey there...   Wed Apr 25, 2012 11:26 pm

I blinked up at him. I had been so sure he hadn't wanted a thing to do with me. But how could I turn him away? How could I turn away when he clearly needed me. I lifted my arms and pulled him against me, letting my fingers run through his hair. "Anything you need, Dante. Anything at all," I whispered into the crook of his neck, holding him against my small body.

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PostSubject: Re: hey there...   Wed Apr 25, 2012 11:33 pm

I sighed heavily. I felt selfish needing someone else to help put me together but I needed it. God did I. I hugged her tighter, holding the flowers against her back. I buried my face in the mess of curls on her neck and sighed. "Thank you."
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PostSubject: Re: hey there...   Wed Apr 25, 2012 11:40 pm

"Shhhh," I whispered, my fingers running through the hair on the back of his head. "It's ok. Everything's going to be ok." I didn't even think before letting my lips brush across his neck, and it didn't even faze me. "I'm here, D. I'm here."

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PostSubject: Re: hey there...   Wed Apr 25, 2012 11:49 pm

I sighed, enjoying how familiar this was... how right it felt. But reality crashed in and I tugged away. "You should eh... really give this to her yourself." I said, holding the flowers out and using the other hand to rub the back of my neck, the guilt returning again.
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PostSubject: Re: hey there...   Wed Apr 25, 2012 11:54 pm

Sighing softly, I took the flowers from her. "Alright. See you." I turned away from him and headed to the elevator. I pulled out my phone to call a cab. I'd pick up the children on the way home and keep Jacob and Jenna at the guest house with Jackie and me. A needed the rest more than Jackson did, and I'd take care of them. He could just rest himself.

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PostSubject: Re: hey there...   Thu Apr 26, 2012 12:05 am

I blinked a few thousand times. Did she seriously up and walk away? I pulled myself away from the door and followed her. "Why did you run away like that?"
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PostSubject: Re: hey there...   Thu Apr 26, 2012 12:14 am

I turned back to look at him. I didn't know what to do. Didn't he just tell me to leave again. I was getting so many mixed signals from him and I didn't know how to decifer them. "I thought you wanted me to go... I don't know, D. I don't know how I'm supposed to act with you now. Things feel comfortable yet strange all at the same time. I don't know how I'm supposed to act with you anymore."

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PostSubject: Re: hey there...   Thu Apr 26, 2012 12:22 am

"Where did I say go? Because I didn't. All I said was you should give the flowers yourself. Not run off like a wounded puppy.. and I don't know how to act around you either but if we suddenly start acting stranger they'll catch on. We're friends. We can go back to that. Kiss or no kiss. Okay? Do you need a ride home? I am sorry if I'm acting jumpy... things are just weird."
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PostSubject: Re: hey there...   Thu Apr 26, 2012 12:28 am

I nodded my head softly. "I do need a ride home. That would be nice of you." I gave him a soft smile. "We should stop and pick up the children as well. I'll keep them back at the guest house tonight, give A a chance to rest."

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PostSubject: Re: hey there...   Thu Apr 26, 2012 12:41 am

"Sounds good. However she might wanna see them before hand too. So I'll feed them dinner at my place. You guys can come too? And then the kids can head back with you guys." I pressed the elevator, let her go in before following. "I never asked... is Jackson okay?"
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PostSubject: Re: hey there...   Thu Apr 26, 2012 12:43 am

I looked down at the flowers in my hand, shaking my head. "I've been avoiding him as well. He called my phone while I was at school, told me he'd been released, but I didn't answer. He left a voice message."

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PostSubject: Re: hey there...   Thu Apr 26, 2012 12:45 am

"But... that's your husband... how could you just ignore him after a health scare like that? No matter what happened." I leaned back against the elevator wall. "God, I really screwed up things.."
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PostSubject: Re: hey there...   Thu Apr 26, 2012 12:50 am

I turned to him, shaking my head. "You didn't screw anything up, Dante." I lifted a hand, caressing his face softly. "It takes two people to tango, as cliche'd as that is to say, it does. I'm not ashamed that I kissed you, I just haven't found a way to face either of them yet. But..." I dropped my hand, "I was an actress once, I can try to be again." I gave him a weak smile, but I was sure he could see right through it.

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PostSubject: Re: hey there...   Thu Apr 26, 2012 1:08 am

"Don't pretend with me. You and I both know how much guilt we're carrying." I sighed. "I hate that i'm not really sorry either... and I hate even with you this close I'm thinking about your hand that was jut on my face. It's not fair to them."
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PostSubject: Re: hey there...   Thu Apr 26, 2012 1:13 am

I nodded, giving him a soft smile. "But, like you said, we've just got to go on being friends... even if I'm not sure that's even a possibility now, especially when I know I want so much more." The elevator door opened and I inhaled sharply.

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PostSubject: Re: hey there...   Thu Apr 26, 2012 1:17 am

My eyes opened wide but I brushed off what she said because I'd be a hypocrite if I said anything about it... especially when I knew what she meant. "I just wanna forget it happened. I'm married. And happy." I walked outside, opening the car door for her. "Your ride, ma'am." I said smiling.
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PostSubject: Re: hey there...   Thu Apr 26, 2012 1:20 am

I slid in to his car, smiling at him. I didn't want to forget what had happened, but I knew we had to. "Thank you, sir." I pulled my belt on and laid the flowers on my lap and placing my bag at my feet.

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PostSubject: Re: hey there...   Thu Apr 26, 2012 1:29 am

I walked around, getting in the car, putting my seat belt on and starting up. "You think Jackson will be mad you didn't show up?"
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PostSubject: Re: hey there...   Thu Apr 26, 2012 1:35 am

I let my teeth scrape over my bottom lip. "Thing about Jackson when he gets mad, he's really mad right when he gets mad, but he lets it go easily. He's a really forgiving man." Although, I was sure he'd never forgive me for kissing Dante, that's why he could never know.

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