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 I'm so sorry.

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PostSubject: I'm so sorry.    Wed Apr 25, 2012 8:59 pm

I had spent almost two days at my wife's bedside, waiting for her to wake up, praying for it. But she just sat there, asleep. The doctor says it was her body's way of recovering from such a terrible experience but all I wanted was to see her brown eyes. I wanted to hear her voice... at least I did till the doctor told me our baby was gone. That the impact was too much for the tiny baby to take and that she had lost our baby. After that I prayed she wouldn't wake soon. I didn't want to have to tell her. To break her heart. To make her ache in a way I knew would never be fixed. A way I felt right at this exact moment.

We didn't even know if it was a girl or boy... we didn't even get that. We just got a child we'd have to mourn forever. That's all. It wasn't fair. My fingers clenched in my palms, anger rising in my body. I wanted to make whoever took my child from this world pay.. I wanted the person put away forever. To be tortured. They had hurt my wife... and they took the child we desperately wanted away from us at the same time. "Dante," My eyes slowly turned to Abby's my heart beating faster. "Hi, honey." I said sitting on the edge of her bed, kissing her forehead.

"I'm so glad to see you." I smiled down at her, holding her face gently in my hands. "What happened?" I felt sick. Sicker than ever. She didn't even remember... which means I'd have to tell her... and I hated remembering that night. I was unfaithful. If only I had gone with her... maybe I could have protected her. Our child. But no I was busy slamming my tongue down her best friend's mouth. I was scum... and if it ever came out she'd see me the same way and she'd be right.
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PostSubject: Re: I'm so sorry.    Wed Apr 25, 2012 9:06 pm

My head still felt like it was spinning but I tried to focus harder on Dante. He looked sad... his eyes said it all. I always told him his eyes spoke volumes even when his lips were closed. He hated it. But it was the truth. His sad eyes always made my heart ache. "You had an accident. Do you remember anything?" I raised my eyebrow slightly, realizing that was a bad idea because it sent a shooting pain throughout the front of my head.

"I... a car... it hit me, right?" I could remember bits and pieces. The fun night that ended with me carrying Jackson out. And then I was alone in the street. I could hear Jackson's frantic voice, could remember completely how badly I wanted his arms. My cheeks blushed slightly at the thought. But then it hit me... the baby. "My... our baby, Dante? Is she okay?" I know I said she but I was sure it was a she. I didn't know for a fact but in my heart I was sure. "I'm so sorry." He whispered, his blue eyes pooling with tears. "What?" I asked, my own eyes filling with tears.

"What do you mean you're sorry?" His eyes softened as if he felt... sorry for me. Or bad. "Stop it." I snapped, shaking my head. "Don't you dare feel sorry for me! There's nothing to be sorry about! The baby's okay!" He grabbed my arms when I went to sit up. "Rest, Abby. Please." I struggled harder. "Let me go! I'm fine! Our baby's okay! Let go!"
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PostSubject: Re: I'm so sorry.    Wed Apr 25, 2012 9:30 pm

"Oh, Abby," She shook her head as I held her against me. She shoved at my chest but I was stronger. "Shh..." I whispered in her hair, closing my eyes. "Abby, our baby's gone. I'm so sorry." She kept hitting at me, crying as I held her. "Shh..." I whispered, rubbing at her back. "Nooooo, you're lying! Tell me you're lying! Please! Dante! Please!" I closed my eyes, rocking her gently as I whispered softly. "I'm so sorry, Abby."
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PostSubject: Re: I'm so sorry.    Wed Apr 25, 2012 9:43 pm

"No, Dante, please," I whispered, my voice breaking up. I was practically sobbing. I knew it. But I didn't want this to be true. I had wanted this baby so badly. We both did. It was our child. Our baby. If I hadn't gone back from my purse this wouldn't have happened. It was my fault. Our child was gone because of me. "Oh, God." I cried, hearing a nurse come in. She put something in my needle and it made me so tired that I collapsed back and fell asleep. I couldn't fight it and honestly I didn't want too. I hurt so bad that it was a nice escape.
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PostSubject: Re: I'm so sorry.    Wed Apr 25, 2012 9:47 pm

Abby lost the fight and fell back. It was sad to see but I knew it was helping her. That's why I even thanked the nurse for sedating her because her blood pressure was high. Because I knew her being asleep was better. I curled up on the bed with her, holding her in my arms and kissing her head as the nurse left. "I love you." And I always would. And I'd help her every step of the way. No matter what it took. Because I knew when she woke up the pain was still going to be there. As awful as ever. I closed my eyes, letting a few tears loose as i held her. That way come tomorrow I'd be strong enough for her.
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I'm so sorry.
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