Time to go home

I finished showering and got dressed in the dress I had been wearing at the party. The hospital staff had been kind enough to wash it for me, just so there weren't any nuts residue on them. I hadn't touched them or anything, but nut dust traveled, and that's why I'd had my reaction. But they gave me my clearance to leave and I checked myself out. I used the comb they provided for me and I pulled my hair back into a makeshift bun. Walking out of the bathroom, I walked over to the chair and picked up my shoes to slip them on as I reached for the phone to dial a cab.

I had been fighting myself all morning whether to come or not, and finally decided just to do it. Just jump the damn gun, walk in and tell her I'd drive her home. Why be such a chicken shit? I took in a sharp breath, walked inside and stayed in the doorway. "I can drive you home if you need..."

I looked up at him from where I had just dialed the number for the cab. My heart skipped a beat and the person on the other end answered. "Ummm... Non parlo inglese..." I hung up the phone as I slipped my other shoe on. "Great. I miss my bambina."

"I bet." I said folding my arms over my chest. "Ready?"

I smiled, standing and walking over to him. "Sure." Walking past him, I left the room. I wasn't about to discuss what happened last night... not the reaction, but what happened here at the hospital. It wasn't happening. "Let's go."

"Okay," I said, following behind her closely, watching her in case she got wobbly. "So clean bill of health, right?" I know I had stormed out in the middle of a fight, but that didn't mean I didn't care. Actually most of what I had said was to push her away.

"Yes. All good. And can we stop somewhere and get something to eat. I'm starving. We can pick up something for Tams too. That's if you don't mind."

I don't really eat.. but I wasn't telling her that. "Of course. I don't mind."

I left the hospital with him, getting into his SUV and pulling my seatbelt on, closing my eyes and resting my head on the seat, my head turned away from him, wiping away a rebel tear from my face quickly so he didn't catch it. I hated being around him, even if it was all I wanted.

I started up the car and kept my eyes forward as we drove in silence. I didn't know what to say, so I flipped the radio on and almost instantly regretted it. My song with Tessa came on... which was about... Jesus Christ. But if I shut it off she'd know something was up! Damn it!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idFJkZQmN38

I kept my face turned from him, swallowing hard. He had been playing this the other day when I was at his place on his guitar. I knew he didn't hear me singing Tessa's lines, but... Closing my eyes, I trapped my tears behind them. I knew he had written this song for me. He'd never said it, but I knew... I knew Dante. "I don't know if I ever told you... But this is a beautiful song, D."

I felt my heart break some and shifted in my seat. "Thanks..." I said, keeping my eyes forward. "Where did you wanna get food at?" I asked, trying not to let a tear fall.

I bit my lip, closing my eyes tighter. "Chinese. Tams loves wontons. I'd love some szechuan stirfry."

"Okay, that sounds good.." I said roughly as I gripped harder at the steering wheel. It always hurt me when I heard about Tammy, because I knew she was my daughter. Bianca didn't know I knew.. but I did. And it always meant that I was learning what I missed..

"Dante, I..." I turned to face him, but then what I had wanted to say disappeared from my head. I couldn't even begin to think about what I'd wanted to say. "I... never mind."

"Telling a person never mind always drives them nuts... so just spit it out.." I said.

"I..." I sighed. "I don't know what I was going to say." Shaking my head, I looked down at my hands in my lap. "Whatever it was, it must not have been important."

"I guess not.." I said sighing heavily as we pulled into the parking lot of the Chinese place. "Did you want me to run in with you? It might be quicker if you go alone... no fans." I smiled slightly.

I couldn't return his smile. I didn't feel it. "Just go. I'll call a cab." I opened the door and headed toward the door.

I raised my eyebrow, wondering why she suddenly was being so cold. I decided to say fuck it, started up and pulled away. Since I didn't deserve her attitude when I was doing MORE than I ever thought I would for her!

I stopped, watching him drive off, wrapping my arms over my breasts and hugging myself tightly. I really didn't think he'd leave... Or rather, I kinda thought he would, but I had hoped he wouldn't. I should have known, and for the most part I did, that he wouldn't come after me. I knew I should give up on him, and no matter how much I tried... like now, all I wanted to do was still be with him. I sighed, wiping away a rebel tear and walked inside.