She's gonna be fine

I sat beside Abigail in the hospital waiting room. This was basically her mother we were waiting to hear word about. I could see the look on Tony's face when Caroline Parisi walked into the grille. I was sure he expected to see my momma, though why, I don't know. It is Bianca's dress they were looking for. But it was done now and the medical team was in the E.R. working on her. We hadn't even heard anything. Pops had called Steven, leaving a voicemail, and I'm sure the hospital called him as well, so he was on his way. It hadn't been long, but I didn't expect he would take too long to show up. I know if it was Abigail who was ... I couldn't even think about that. All I could do was hold her as we sat in the waiting room. Pops was pacing. Bianca looked like she was about ready to keel over herself. But I couldn't do anything about anyone else. All I could do was make sure my wife was alright.

"Would you like something to eat, baby? Something to drink?" She wasn't usually a coffee drinker, which is something I could use a healthy cup of right now, even if it was hospital coffee, but being pregnant, she wasn't going to be drinking it anyway. I covertly rubbed her stomach, whispering softly. "The baby needs something."

Numb. That's how I felt, because I couldn't feel anything. My mother was on the other side of those doors but I couldn't even look at them. Dante had had me sit down as soon as we got there. Someone said I looked pale or something. I don't know. I felt like the world was boxing in around me. I hadn't even noticed how we had gotten from the restaurant to the hospital. I was sure that was where we were. Everything seemed so sterile. But all I could do was sit there, staring at the coffee machine in front of me. As for everything else around me, the only way I even knew Dante was here was that he was touching me. Everything else is seeming to blur around me.

How could a man do that? Shoot a gun at a restaurant he knew his 'son' was in? A restaurant he knew his pregnant fiancee was in? Was he really that cold inside? And now mom was paying the price. She was paying the price for us, for me, for Bianca, for Dante, for Jackson. It wasn't fair. Not that I'd wish any of them to be here, or myself, but it wasn't fair that she was paying the price when it was our choice to live this life. This danger. Not her. She even begged us to run in the opposite direction and we hadn't listened. "No," I said to Jackson, not even looking at him. I felt sick. Eating would make it worse. I heard daddy's voice and sprang from my seat.

"My girls," He said, grabbing us both as he got near and hugging us long and hard. I cried, because I didn't know what else to do. "Has anyone called Bruno?" I nodded sadly, wiping at my eyes. "I did but he was visiting Jacque, so it's going to take some time to drive home." He nodded, kissing my head before kissing Bianca's. "Stay here, I'm going to find out what's going on." I nodded and squeezed B's hand before stepping back and sitting back down with Jackson. I leaned into him, laying my head against his shoulder, not saying a word.

I didn't know what to say or do for Bianca. I could offer food or water, knowing our son would need it, but I couldn't find my voice. And I was sure even if I did she'd say no or not even hear me. So I just held her hand, rubbing the knuckles with my pointer finger. It was my fault. It was. I was sure she'd tell me later on it wasn't. But it was. Her mama being shot was my fault. I let that man hurt my family. I let him stand there and walk away with bashing his head in.

I let some sort of love I had for him as a kid take me over and hurt her my family I truly loved. It could've been anyone. And it was Bianca's mother. She didn't deserve it. Not the least bit. I heard Steven, and tried not to look at him, knowing he blamed us for his wife's terrible state, and when he walked away, I stood and helped Bianca sit back down. I kissed her knuckles and and held her hand again, letting my fingers go back to rubbing her knuckles. "She's okay." I whispered, unsure of what else to say. How could she be okay? She was hurt bad.

I didn't know what to do for Abby. She wasn't accepting anything, and I knew I couldn't expect her to. I knew I just had to let her deal with this the way she was. I mean, if it was my momma in there, I would be... shit, I'd be clawing the walls, demanding answers. "Your father is going to find out what's going on, I promise you." I rubbed her back. "Just relax. I know it's hard, but you know you need to take it easy, baby."

I was sure Dad just came through and was checking on mama. I looked over at Dante, smiling softly when I saw him beside me. I didnt' feel the smile, but I was grateful he was there. "She has to be." I laced my fingers with his, pulling his hand to my stomach. "She has to be." I didn't know where I was getting my strength to talk, but I had to do something beside just sit here.

"She will." I said, kissing her head. "She's got a grandbaby to greet soon." I said, rubbing my finger tips over her stomach. "Watch, Steven will come back and say everything's okay."

"I'm trying." I said, my head still on his shoulder as I stared forward. "The best I can." I rubbed at my blurry eyes again and looked at Jackson. "You ok? I mean after what Tony said.." I swallowed, knowing I was bringing up a dangerous topic. The drug use. And what Tony had said about it.

I took a deep breath, nodding slowly. "Yeah." I swallowed hard. "I'm fine." Honestly, I would do anything for a hit, but I swore to Abby I never would again, and I was going to do my damnedest not to. "I'm sure that upset you more than me."

"I..." I didn't know what to say. Was it terrible if I said I was glad that Antonino wasn't his real father? Taking a deep breath, I pushed myself out of the numb feeling, showing Dante, if not for any other reason, that I was alright. I was far from it, but I couldn't focus on what was going on with my mama. "Is there anyway we can avoid him?"

"I'm fine, it wasn't that bad. He wanted to upset us. i didn't give him the satisfaction." I curled my hand around his and turned my head more into his shoulder. "I love you."

"When he's dead. And he will be sooner or later. I promise you that." I said, not looking at her because I felt so guilty and didn't want her to sense it.

I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him closer to me. I needed his strength right now. "Can we get out of here?" I didn't know if I could walk to easily. I seriously felt like my legs were made of jello, but I couldn't sit here any longer. "I can't sit around waiting for them to come out and tell us she's dead." I didn't believe I'd said that so blatantly, but I seriously felt like that's what we were waiting around for. Dante and I were covered in her blood. We hadn't changed. "Just a walk."

I kissed the side of her head, pulling her closer to me. "I swear to you, baby," of course I'd sworn this to her several times since she found out, but I felt the need to do it again, "I will never do it again. I'm done with it. I swear to God!" And I meant it. I mean, Jesus, there wasn't a moment that didn't go by that I seriously didn't want a hit. I wanted to be skiing those slopes with no regard for anything, but I loved her more than the powder. And I had to stay away from it to prove that to her.

"She won't be dead." I said, standing and helping her up. "Be back guys." I kept my arm firmly around her waist. "But we'll walk." I kissed her head, holding her close as we walked. "She's not dead. You have to believe that, Bianca. Don't think negatively. Positive thoughts. Good thoughts. She'll be okay." I rubbed her arm as we walk. "She'll be at our wedding and smiling for us." I said as we turned a corner.

"I know." I said smiling. "I believe you." I kissed his lips, said by to Dante and Bianca as they disappeared and closed my eyes. "I just want to know she's okay.. that's all. Just the doctor to come in and say it's a long road to recovery but that she's okay.."

"Maybe it's not as bad as any of us are imagining. Maybe your dad is in there talking to her right now and they're telling him that everything is going to be just fine. Maybe she's telling him she's fine herself." I rubbed her back soflty. "It's all going to be ok. I promise you."

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I asked, stopping and leaning up agaisnt the wall. We'd gone down another hall away from everyone and we were alone, except for hospital staff that would pass by. "I mean... I love you, and I'm not getting cold feet or anything like that, but..." I swallowed... "Mama and Dad just got married... and... see what..." The tears started falling, and I couldn't stop them. I couldn't even speak anymore.

"I trust you." i said sighing heavily. "I'm so tired. I feel like we never get a break. So much keeps piling on.. I feel like I can't breathe." I felt tears burn my eyes before they ran down my cheeks.

I stepped up closer to her, grabbing her face, brushing at her tears. "Of course I want to do this. More than anything. I'm marrying you and we'll be fine. Just like your mom. We'll be married, happy and healthy until we're both in our 90's and leave this world together. Now stop.. please.. we'll be fine.. just like your mama will.." I kissed her forehead, hugging her tight.

I held onto him tightly. I was scared. I knew Antonino was a jerk, but why in the hell did he have to mess with us like this? Why did he hate Dante so much? I mean, I got that Dante was taken from him, and I would shut down myself if it happened to me, but seriously, he was supposed to be a good, respectable man. He was nothing but a dick. A cold, heartless, dick!

"Wat do you say..." I inhaled deeply, my arm wrapping around her more, "as soon as we know your mom is ok and my brother and your sister get married, we get away from here. Take a break." I let go of the breath heavily. "I mean, it is Winter Break at school. You and I could go some place. Some place warm. Anything. Just get us away from here. What do you say?"

"The place we went for our honeymoon. But not till mom is better." I leaned up and kissed him. "I love you more than anyone on this planet, you know that right? You know you own every single part of my heart and then some?"

"It's okay." I whispered, knowing even if she was silent her head was running a million miles an hour. "I love you. I'll protect you.. and the baby. I swear it."

I let my fingers run through her hair. I should have known she wouldn't want to leave. Carlina was her mother. She hadn't known her birth mother and she didn't want to lose the only mother she's ever known, and I should have known she wouldn't want to leave while her mother was in the hospital. Nodding my head, I smiled softly. "I do know. And no one in this world is more important to me than you," I leaned closer to her, my lips beside her ear, "and our son." I let my lips linger beside her head, kissing her temple softly.