Turn around, they need you

I heard a voice telling me your not ready. It's not your turn. Turn for what? what am I not read for? It was so bright, but the brightness was fading and as I opened my eyes it was rather dark in the room. I smiled as I realized Steven was holding my hand, but the smile soon faded when I wondered why he wasn't holding me and not just my hand. When my eyes focused, I realized I was ... in a hospital. Starting to panic, I heard a hospital machine start to beep beside me. It only meant my heart was beating to fast, right? RIGHT? Not the other way around. I wasn't dying. I was alive, right? Why was I in the hospital though? "Ste--ven" My throat was raspy, but I managed to choke it out. A nurse ran in and told me to relax, pulling out a syringe and injecting it into the iv set in my hand. Within a few minutes I was calming down. "We gave her a very light sedative, sir. She shouldn't go back to sleep, but it will calm her," the nurse explained as she walked out of the room. I was barely able to keep my eyes open, but I loopily smiled at Steven. "Now... What was that all about?" I was suddenly too tired to remember why I was upset to begin or any of that. Instead, I just smiled a little funny smile at my husband, happy he was there beside me.

I had been sitting here thinking how I could live through Carli dying. I lived through Monica's death. But Carli? I couldn't even imagine it. I was sure I'd die right with her, and then her beautiful eyes looked at me, and I lost it, tears streamed down my cheeks and I stood to hold her. But she was so upset it took the nurse giving her something to calm her down. When the nurse left and she gave me a cute smile, I smiled back, tears still falling, but I managed to chuckle. "Nothing important.." I told her, grabbing her face lightly and kissing her lips deeply. "I'm so glad you're awake.. I thought... we thought... we had lost you." I held in her place staring at her. "But you were stronger then I ever imagined. Thank you for coming back to me."

I was too tired to think about what he meant about losing me. I was out of it. Letting my fingers run through his hair, I smiled. "I could never leave you, Steve." I wish I didn't feel so tired, but I was going to fight the sleep with everything I had. "You look so sad. I never wanted to make you cry. I'm so sorry."

I grabbed her fingers, clasping them with mine, kissing them. "Don't be sorry. I'm just glad you're okay and here.. and awake." I kissed her forehead, gently sitting down next to her. "I love, Carli. With every piece of my heart and soul. I hope you know that."

I smiled, my eyes closing lazily. "I do know. And I love you." Pushing my eyes open, my smile softened. "When I am not so tired, you're telling me what happened, yes?" I nodded my head, giving him the most serious look I could muster, even though I felt down right loopy.

I cracked a bigger smile. "I will. Promise." I slid an arm under her, slid closer and held her softly so I didn't hurt her. "I'll tell you everything. And I promise justice is right around the corner for this."

I groaned, resting my head on his shoulder. "No court talk, counselor." I didn't want him to talk about work, not when I was in a hospital bed and I didn't know why. The door opened and the light slowly got brighter. "The nurse said you were awake." I looked across the room at the blurry image. Some lady with a white coat, that's all I could tell through this haze. "I am glad you are. We can check on the two of you now." She came closer to me and I was sure she was my doctor, like my pcp or something. I knew her, but I was too tired to focus on anything but Steve right now. She placed her hand on my stomach. "You've lost a lot of blood, but we should check to make sure this one has as strong as vitals as you do." I looked up at Steven. "You didn't say you were hurt, Steve!" I felt like pouting, crying myself.

"I'm not." I told Carli. "Who's this one?" I asked, unsure of what she was talking about. "The baby." My eyes opened wider. "The baby?" I asked, unsure I heard her correctly.

I was dead tired, but hearing that I had hurt a child set my mind racing. Even though I had been lullified, my mind was going a million miles a minute, but you wouldn't be able to tell. When I spoke, I still sounded drunk and tired. "I hurt a baby?" I didn't know whether to look at Steven or the doctor, so I settled on Steve. "You might wanna tell me now and later what happened!" The doctor spoke, demanding my attention, but when I looked over at her, my head felt dizzy, the quick flip flopping. "No, Carli." She started moving some funny little knob on my stomach that was connected to a tiny box in her hand. My head was screaming at me to focus, but I was feeling so loopy, I didn't know what to focus on. "According to the hCG levels in your blood test, you're almost 11 weeks pregnant." I watched her mouth, but it was almost as though she was speaking Greek. "I'm Italian, doc, and I don't even speak that fluently. I surely don't know Greek." She smiled as a thump thump noise came through the box in her hand. thump thump thum. thump thump thump. "You're having a baby, Carli. Congratulations, you two."

I just sat there, staring between Carli and the doctor, over and over again so much I felt dizzy. And then that thumping sound started and I felt tears blur my eyes. "We're.. having a baby?" I said slowly. "A baby?" I let go of a shaky breath. "Oh... wow..." I smiled brightly, leaning in and kissing my wife. "We're having a baby!"

I had to be dreaming. This was all too surreal. Cereal? Soup bowl? I don't know, what ever it was, it wasn't feeling real. "Ba...baby?" The doctor nodded, smiling brightly. "Yes, you're having a baby. And from the sounds of it, baby is doing just as well as his or her mother. Congratulations you two!" She cleaned off my stomach and pulled the gown down. "I'll be bac to check on you later." The doctor left us alone and I turned to Steven. "What's happening here, Steve?"

"I guess we're having a baby." I said, touching her stomach lightly. "And he or she is just fine!"

I was getting droopy eyed. Didn't someone say I wasn't going to fall asleep? I really couldn't remember right now. Yawning, I laid my head on his shoulder. "A baby." But even as I said the words, I was dropping out and I couldn't even keep my eyes open anymore. The next second I was asleep.

"A baby, my beautiful angel. Our baby." I kissed her head and held her as she fell asleep.