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Bianca P
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PostSubject: I'm all alone   Sun Jan 08, 2012 12:37 am

I didn't know how long I had walked, but I had somehow managed to find my way into the burb. We lived just outside of it and I guess I hadn't been walking long, but it felt like forever. I certainly wasn't in downtown Manhattan... Or was I? I looked around. I couldn't have walked that far. It was starting to get dark and I was freezing cold. I needed to call A. She was my cousin, but she and I were closer than my own sister and me right now. C was a whole lot more like Dante than Abigail was. I don't know how we're twins sometimes. Reaching in my purse, I pulled out my phone to call A. I needed her. She was the only one I could turn to through this.

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PostSubject: Re: I'm all alone   Sun Jan 08, 2012 8:41 pm

I walked into the grocery store, talking to the cashier, rubbing my arms, trying to warm myself up. "Do you have a public restroom here?" He looked me over, blinking. I sighed. I didn't want to be noticed. I just wanted to be Bianca. I didn't want to be Isabella. I didn't know if I ever wanted to be her again. I just want to be myself. It was because of her and my music that I had lost the two people in my life that meant the most to me.

"Hey, aren't you--" I shook my head. "Please. Do you have a public restroom or not?" He looked me over, shaking his head. "No, we don't have a public restroom, but I can give you the key to the back to use the employee's restroom." Ok, so I didn't want special treatment just because I am who I am, but I needed to use the restroom. "Thank you," I told him as he handed me the key.

Taking it from him, I smiled, even though I didn't feel like smiling. Actually, it wasn't even like my usual smile that I put up for everyone. I didn't feel anything at all, even the need to pretend anymore. I've been doing that for so long. I just needed to be myself. Not that that would get my family back, but at least I would be being honest and truthful with myself.

I walked into the back, unlocking the door with the key and looking for the bathroom. Finding it, I walked in. The bathroom wasn't that clean. There weren't even seat protectors. I started to make a makeshift one with the toilet paper so I could at least feel somewhat comfortable. But it's not like that matters. Comfortability didn't matter at all. Nothing mattered. I missed my family, even if it was all just a joke, a lie. I missed Dante and Tammy and I knew I'd never get them back.

I've been gone so long, I'm use to feeling alone. I estimated a love, my estimation was wrong. See i never knew what you were going through, but I just got back now let's see where your at. We just need time, some time to connect. What I'm telling you now, hope you never forget. I don't know what I'd do if i ever lost you, all the loneliness I would go through. But if you wanna leave I won't stop you.

Baby boy you know I just begun to realize whats important to me. Maybe I should have tried to put your needs first, but my prorities were messed up, and I know you got hurt. See i never knew what you were going through, but i just got back, now let's see where your at.

Think about it, take a moment just to rewind, everything that you believe, and everything that was right. Do you really want to stand there and tell me goodbye when I'm saying I still love you. Lonely days and lonely nights, that's where you'd be without me by your side. Better think twice, baby, this could blow up crazy, you know.

I can't keep singing my secret cause it's out of control. I'll give you everything, body, mind, heart and soul, but you keep breaking me taking me to another low. Don't do it baby, don't do it. Don't let me go. Baby boy you know I just begun to realize what's important to me. So don't leave, don't leave. Baby boy, don't leave.

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PostSubject: Re: I'm all alone   Sun Jan 08, 2012 8:52 pm

I sat in my car, staring at the steering wheel. I needed this money. I needed it bad. My wife had just had a baby.. my baby was sick.. we needed the money. I knew that.. but my skin still crawled. I had always worked hard for my money. I didn't steal. I wasn't a man who carried around a gun, let alone planned on putting it to a man or woman's head and demanding money. I had no choice. It was either my baby or scaring someone. I choose scaring someone. I pulled the ski mask over my head, standing up, heading inside. "Give me all your money!" I yelled in a disguised voice, pointing it as the cashier. "Now!" I yelled louder, shaking the gun back and forth. My hand felt numb.. I felt numb. "No.." My eyes widen, not expecting that.

"What! Give me the fucking money!" The man trembled. "I don't have any money in the cash register.." He said slowly, his hand reaching for something. I shot him, scared.. unsure of what he was reaching for. I shot him dead on.. right in the head. I had never heard a scarier sound.. my eyes opened even wider, my arm falling to my side as the man slumped and fell on the floor. Dead. "Oh, God.." I said in a heavy whisper, frozen. I caught site of brown hair to my side and turned my hand and face toward it, the gun aiming at her. "Isabella.." I said in shock. "I.. give me all your money!" I yelled, my body shaking so roughly I could barely keep the gun pointed on her.
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PostSubject: Re: I'm all alone   Sun Jan 08, 2012 9:04 pm

For a brief moment after coming face to face with the barrel of a gun, I didn't even want to do anything but let him shoot me. I was about to tell him no, but of course Dante nor Tammy could ever forgive me if I did. I had to do what the guy asked. I started to open my purse, shaking my head. I didn't have any cash on me. "All I have is my credit cards. I don't have any money." I looked up, swallowing. I almost felt bad that I had called A. I didn't want her to walk in on this. Not while she was pregnant. "Please, ummm... I can find an ATM and you can go. I'll give you as much as the ATM will give me."

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PostSubject: Re: I'm all alone   Sun Jan 08, 2012 9:11 pm

"I.. no.." I let out a shaky breath. "What's the code.. for your ATM.." I asked, when she gave me the code, I nodded, knowing I had no choice. If she followed me I'd attract attention I didn't need. She was a singer after all.. I couldn't chance it. I had to take care of this here.. I had no choice. It was making me sick.. I felt so sick. "I'm sorry." I said, hearing a car pull up. "I.. God.. I.. I'm so sorry about this. You have no idea. I have no choice. I'm so sorry." I pulled the trigger, watching as she fell as a heap on the ground. I walked over, taking her ATM card and running out the door. I ran straight into a woman, knocking her back. She looked up at me in horror, her eyes big.. scared.. I raised the gun, my hand shaking hard. When I noticed her stomach peeking out of her jacket.. her.. she was pregnant. I couldn't kill a child.. I couldn't.. "I'm sorry." I said, running away, getting in my car and driving away as fast as I could.
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PostSubject: Re: I'm all alone   Sun Jan 08, 2012 9:15 pm

I sat on the ground forever.. my eyes pouring with tears. At least it felt like forever. But really it was a minute.. before I registered what was inside the store. "Bianca.." I said, pushing myself to stand and heading inside. When I saw her on the ground my heart stopped. My eyes filling with fresh tears. "B!" I screamed, rushing over to her. I slipped against her blood, falling on my ass. I panicked, my hands reaching for her head where the blood was coming and held there. "Help me!" I screamed, crying so heavily I felt like I couldn't breathe. "Don't you die. Don't you dare fucking die. I swear to God. B!" I remembered my phone, tugged it out of my pocket and was barely able to read the screen as I dialed 911. Between my bloody hands and the tears I could barely see. I told them where I was at and told them to hurry before dropping the phone and leaning over my sister. She wasn't my sister.. not biologically but she was my sister. I held my hands tight against her head. "Please, B. I need you." I whispered, hearing the ambulance. They pulled up, rushed inside and pushed me aside. They said B still had a pulse before rushing her out the front door. I finally noticed the man they were laying a sheet over as I climbed in the back of the ambulance with B.
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