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PostSubject: All the things I should've said but I never said...    Sun Jan 08, 2012 9:55 pm

I was so close to sleep that I could feel it taking over when I felt a sharp pain rip through my chest. I sat up, letting out a low deep growl, clenching a hand against my chest. It felt like something was being ripped from me.. my heart.. it felt like a hand was reaching in my chest and tearing my heart out. "Bianca," I said, my voice low as I reached for my cell phone. I didn't even have a chance to call her before I saw a strange number flash against my screen.

"Hello?" And from there my entire world stopped. Abigail explained about the accident, the best she could as she sobbed. I barely heard most of what she said. But what I did understand was all that mattered. Bianca had been shot.. in the head and she was in a bad place. I slid out of the bed, carried Tammy over to the neighbors, asked her to watch out for her and drove straight to the hospital by the time I got there I was in tears of my own. I didn't cry. Not often.. but the fear was gripping at me like a hand and I couldn't ignore it. The fear, the pain. The second I saw Abby my heart did a flip. She was full of blood. Her clothes.. her jacket.. her shoes.. her hair even had some in it.. her hands.. all of her.. she was dripping with Bianca's blood.

"Abigail." She turned to me, her eyes wide with fear, her mouth motionless. I took the step toward her, even with the blood and hugged her tight, my eyes closing tight. "It's okay. She's okay." I promised, holding her as she cried against my chest. "Can someone get Bianca's doctor.. please.. Bianca Parisi's as soon as she's allowed to walk away from her." The nurse said she would and left me and Abigail alone. This was all my fault. I was the reason she was here. I was such a fucking dick.. I couldn't get over tiny shit for the life of me.. and now.. here she was. Stuck in a hospital bed with a bullet in her God damn brain. I closed my eyes, trying to trap the tears but it was useless, they pushed past my closed lids and rolled down my cheeks.
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PostSubject: Re: All the things I should've said but I never said...    Sun Jan 08, 2012 9:56 pm

By the time we had made it to the hospital B's heart had stopped. Three times. THREE whole times. How did a girl that small even survive her heart stopping that many times? I had no idea.. but she had. She was still alive as they rolled her away from me, rushing off, leaving me standing near the door, trembling, frozen in place. When Dante got there, I felt less frozen, less stuck. Like the world was slowly coming back into view.. but I still ached. Every inch of me. I still felt like someone was poking every inch of me with a hot poker. I felt sick, and I knew I was covered in blood but I was too weak to go and wash off.. too weak to move from the spot where I had last seen my sister before they wheeled her off. I heard him talking to the nurse but barely paid attention. "What happend?" I heard from above my head. His voice was rough. I could tell her was trying to stay strong but it was faultering. "I.. don't know.. I found her on the ground... blood was everywhere. I can't remember before that.. I'm trying but it's like.." I looked up at him blankly. "Like all of it's been erased.."


Last edited by Abigail Frost on Sun Jan 08, 2012 10:00 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: All the things I should've said but I never said...    Sun Jan 08, 2012 9:56 pm

"Erased?" I asked, wondering what she meant by that. "Are you okay?" She nodded weakly, her legs trembling. Hell her entire body was. I could feel it. "Let's have you sit down. For the babies." I walked her over to the benches, helping her sit before sitting myself. "How can something be erased? Are you in shock?" I asked, trying to keep my mind off what was happening in the other part of the hospital. I so badly wanted to run off, screaming for Bianca but stopped myself, knowing that wasn't a good idea at all. All I'd do was prevent her from getting help by making a complete ass of myself.
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PostSubject: Re: All the things I should've said but I never said...    Sun Jan 08, 2012 9:57 pm

"I don't know.." I said, staring forward. "I just don't remember.. you think she'll be okay?" I shook my head. "Don't answer that. I know she'll be okay. I don't need you to say it.. she's going to be fine. She will. She'd never leave Tammy.." I brushed my cheek when a tear snuck it's way out and rolled down my face. I noticed my hands, the dried blood made my empty stomach turn. I turned my eyes to Dante's shirt. "I got blood on you." He shook his head. "It's okay. Don't worry about it." I nodded, looking down at my blood stained hands. I know there was things I could be doing.. people I could call but the names were escaping me.. the people I had to call wouldn't register. I just sat there quietly staring forward, saying a silent prayer for B.
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PostSubject: Re: All the things I should've said but I never said...    Sun Jan 08, 2012 10:15 pm

I had done all I could. Now we just had to wait for her to pull through on her own. I took my operating scrubs off, washing my hands and taking the cap off my head, pulling my hair from it's pony tail. I had to go out and talk to the family now. At least I ddidn't have to tell them that she was dead. I hated that part of my job, but she was alive, even though it had been touch and go. Walking out into the hall, I saw a couple waiting in the waiting area, the only ones out there. Walking up to them, I asked slowly, "Are you two Isabella's family... excuse me, Bianca Parisi's family?" I knew Isabella was only her public name, but they were her family. They were privy to her birth name, not like the rest of the world.
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PostSubject: Re: All the things I should've said but I never said...    Sun Jan 08, 2012 10:24 pm

"Yeah.. I'm her.. a.. he.." Abby looked up at the lady and back at me. "Her fiance." She answered for me. I slowly stood, helping Abby. "Is she.." I couldn't get the word out. "Alive?" Abby finished for me giving me a tight squeeze to the hand.
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PostSubject: Re: All the things I should've said but I never said...    Sun Jan 08, 2012 10:30 pm

I nodded my head. "She's in critical care right now. Not ICU. She is breathing on her own, doesn't need the use of oxygen or any other life sustaining instruments." Taking a breath, I nodded my head slowly. "But if she wakes up from this, it's all on her. But, she pulled through everything else tonight. I am sure she will pull through this. She's strong. She's a fighter."
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PostSubject: Re: All the things I should've said but I never said...    Sun Jan 08, 2012 10:38 pm

"Can I see her?" I asked, relieved. More relieved then I had ever been in my entire life. She was alive. And I knew she'd be okay. Like the doctor said she made it through this.. she was a fighter. She always had been. She'd be okay.. for me.. for our little girl. Abby looked up at me and back to the doctor. "I'd much rather he see her first.. I.. just want to sit here." I looked down at Abby. "Are you sure?" She nodded. "Yes, she'll wake up for you.. I know her. If she knows your here and still care.. she'll wake up." I sighed. "Still love her." I corrected. She smiled weakly. "She'll wake up and love to hear that." She told me before looking at the doctor. "Can he go see her?" I was going to suggest Abby go get cleaned off but I knew she meant she'd sit here.. she wouldn't move even if I asked her.
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PostSubject: Re: All the things I should've said but I never said...    Sun Jan 08, 2012 10:46 pm

I nodded my head. I always liked the faith that families had in their loved ones. That, combined with their own will, was what got them through things like this. If Isabella was going to get through this, she was going to get through it with their help. "Go ahead. She's being moved to room 412. You can go up." I turned to the pregnant woman. "You're the one who came in with her, right? We should get you cleaned up."
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PostSubject: Re: All the things I should've said but I never said...    Sun Jan 08, 2012 10:58 pm

"Thank you." I gave Abby a good squeeze before running off to the elevator. I took it to the fourth floor and got off, running till I read the number 412. I stopped at the closed door, listening to the soft beep from the other side of the door. Her heart. It was beating.. strong. I touched her name plate, glanced back at the nurse who was watching me. I gave her a nod and headed inside.

Another nurse looked up from the file she was writing in. "Hi." She said with a sympathetic smile. "Hi. I'm Dante Frost. Bianca's fiance.." I know it was wrong to say I was when I wasn't really but she was in my heart.. despite the anger she was. "Her vitals are strong. She's resting. We aren't really sure when she'll wake up." I nodded. "Thank you." I walked over, sitting in the chair next to her bed, taking her hand. "Bianca," I whispered, kissing her hand. The nurse left us alone, shutting the door behind us. I stood up, sitting on her bed with her, kissing her forehead. "You need to wake up.. for me.. for our daughter because even when I'm angry.. I can't live without you. I can't.. I need you. More than you'll ever know." I kissed her hand still in mine. "I swear I'll make this up to you if you wake up.. no matter what it takes. Just open those beautiful brown eyes. For me. Please." I begged, tears bubbling up in my eyes. "I need you.."
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PostSubject: Re: All the things I should've said but I never said...    Sun Jan 08, 2012 11:00 pm

"No.." I said, sliding back down in the chair. "I want to sit right here and wait for Dante to get back. I don't want to get cleaned up. Leave me alone." I said, staring forward.
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PostSubject: Re: All the things I should've said but I never said...    Sun Jan 08, 2012 11:09 pm

I couln't make her do anything, so I simply nodded. "Just grab a nurse or something if you change your mind." I turned to go back about my duties, seeing a cop walk up to me. "Dr. Hodgins?" the officer asked and I nodded my head, wrapping my arms around myself, looking up at him. "Yes?" He looked over at the woman sitting on the chair and back at me. "I'm inspector Frakes. I need to speak with Abigail," he looked down at his notepad, "Samms about the double murder at Gray's Grocery on Madison." I shook my head. "I don't know who that is, but she's the woman who came in with her," I told him, looking over to the lady and back. "She's family. She might know who Abigail Samms is." The officer nodded and walked past me to talk to her.
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PostSubject: Re: All the things I should've said but I never said...    Sun Jan 08, 2012 11:16 pm

"Are you Abigail Samms?" The police officer asked after the doctor had walked away. I turned my eyes up to him, nodding slightly. "I am.. why?" He explained he needed me to answer questions and I cracked, tears spilling down my cheeks. "I don't know.. I can't remember anything.. all I remember is seeing my cousin, my sister in a pool of her own blood on the floor. I can't remember.. why can't people understand I don't remember. I'm sorry.. I can't.." He knelt down in front of me. "Listen, Miss Samms, I understand how terrible this is but can you think hard for me.. for your cousin?" I blinked slightly, taking in a shaky breath. "I.." I thought hard. "I can't.. nothing.. it's gone.. whatever happened.. all I know is I was scared.. beyond belief.. and calling 911." He nodded. "Alright." He pulled something out of his pocket and handed it to me. "Here, this is my personal office number. If you remember anything at anytime just call me, okay? Why don't you go get cleaned up." I shook my head. "No. I'm waiting for Dante." He nodded. "Okay. I'll be back to check on you later, okay?" I nodded, not really paying attention as he walked away.
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PostSubject: Re: All the things I should've said but I never said...    Mon Jan 09, 2012 12:07 am

I stirred slight, feeling Dante beside me. I couldn't believe he was here, not after what happened. I couldn't believe the words he was saying to me. I tried to lift my hand to him, but I couldn't. I was... tired. Too tired to lift my hand to touch him? What could make me so tired I couldn't touch the man I loved. He needed me? I needed him, more than he could ever imagine. "Dante," I spoke, but nothing came out of my mouth. HE didn't move. It was as though he couldn't even hear me. "Dante!" I tried yelling so he could hear me, but nothing came out. Nothing was coming out. I felt like crying. What was wrong with me? Why couldn't I talk to him? "Dante!!! I love you, Dante! I love you so much!" I cried out, sobbing, but he couldn't hear any of it. I hated this. I couldn't touch him, I couldn't speak to him. Everything was wrong and nothing was right. I cried, letting it all flow, wishing but unable to get him to hear me.

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