I'm a beached whale

"Fine, we'll just sweep it away. Let it go. Let it build and build till it kills us again." I pulled away and stood up. "I need to get to class and so do you. Do you want to wash your face or would you rather me just walk you?"

I reached up, grabbing his hand with mine, looking up at him. My eyes were red, I knew they were, but it didn't matter. I didn't want to upset him like this. "Ok," I let out in a heavy whisper. "We can talk about it. I don't know if talking about it or avoiding it is worse, but we can talk about it. No more sweeping it away."

I walked over, grabbing her a wet cloth and sitting down next to her, wiping at her wet face. I kissed her forehead, and pulled back to hold her face in my hands. "Okay, tell me.. and we'll see what we can do to fix what's wrong." I let her face away, and handed her the wet cloth.

I looked down at the cloth in my hands, shaking my head softly. "I don't know how we can. I don't want to ruin anything we have between us by talking about something that will hurt us." I turned my red eyes up to look at him. "But not talking about it is going to be like the elephant in the room and it's only going to make matters worse. I don't want that either. I love you, Dante. More than I ever thought I could, and I don't want to lose you because I want something you don't anymore." I looked back at the cloth in my hands, unable to look at him after what I just said.

I stared at her blankly, waiting for the punch line. What was it that she wanted that I didn't? I wasn't understanding. I mean yes I was a man.. and sometimes things flew right over my head.. but seriously I was missing something. "Okay, what? I mean I don't mean to sound like a jerk, but, what? I feel like you're speaking in riddles."

I looked up at him again, tears stinging my eyes. "I want to marry you, Dante! I want to be your wife! More than anything in this world, I want to be your wife!" I was frozen, there in fear. He could walk away and never look back now and I knew there was nothing I could do to stop him. But I couldn't move. I couldn't even speak anymore... I had gone and ruined the best thing that had ever happened to me.

I froze, staring at her. Now she wanted to get married. Now, after all the drama and us ending over her saying NO she wants to get married? Seriously? I pulled my eyes off her and looked down at the floor. "Okay, well, I don't know if that's what I want anymore or not. I mean I still love you.. but maybe you were right.. maybe marriage is a big fat mistake.. I mean look at Abby and Jackson, yes, they love each other but I give them six months and the marriage will go to hell.." I shrugged. "That piece of paper fucks with people.. look what happened when all I did was ask you to marry me."

My eyes slowly closed, and I inhaled shakily. "I didn't expect it. I didn't ever expect you to ask me, Dante. I had convinced myself that marriage was stupid, but I was wrong. All A and I ever wanted was for Mama and Dad to get married. We did everything we could to get them together. If I did that, I had to believe in marriage at one point or another. And marrying you would be the greatest thing in this world. A and Jackson love each other and I know they can stay together. I know we can too, marriage or not, but I know I really want to marry you. You're everything I know I always wanted when I was a little girl when I thought about when I would get married. I thought I didn't want it, but I was denying myself that. And believing that after I was with you... I was denying myself how happy I could be with you." I licked my dry lips. "I want that piece of paper. And I want it to have your name next to mine saying I'm yours. I want to be Mrs. Dante Frost."

"Bianca," I sighed, taking her face in my hands. "You know how much I love you right?" I let go of a shaky breath. "Then you'd know why a marriage proposal in a bathroom is not happening. I love you and if I ask you someday to be my wife it's not going to be in this bathroom. That's all I can say, okay? I'm not saying I don't want it anymore. I do. I just don't want it here, right now, not in this bathroom, okay?"

I slowly nodded my head. Right now wasn't the most romantic of places. But he still said he wanted to marry me, and that was more than I could have ever hoped for. I was sure I would have lost him forever, wanting it when he didn't. I slowly lifted my arms, wrapping them around his neck and laying my head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry. I know the bathroom isn't very romantic." What he had done the first time was perfect, and I couldn't go back in time and say yes to it. The bell ring and I wanted to cry. I didn't want to go to class. I just wanted to stay with him, even if we were in the restroom. I couldn't even let go.

"It's okay." I promised her, taking her hand and helping her stand. "Let's go to class. Get the day done and over with and go home." I kissed her forehead and headed for the door.

I walked with him out of the bathroom, toward my class, remembering what we're doing today. "Oh... I'm going to be coming home with a surprise today." I winced, shaking my head. "I think Ms. Grint is using me as an example of what not to do, and showing everyone what they have to look forward to if they end up like me."

"Example how so?" I asked, taking her hand more in mine and kissing the top of it. I was trying to think of what that teacher taught or if I even knew who she was and it wasn't clicking. "Am I suppose to guess what the surprise is?" I said with a smirk.

"She's got these electronic babies she's sending home with everyone. They cry and you have to feed them. And change their diaper," I told him, rubbing my stomach. "I don't know how we're going to get any sleep. I guess she really wants to show us what we're in for."

I groaned, rubbing a hand over her stomach, laughing when I felt DJ kick. "He so read my mind.. you know what I was thinking?" I laughed. "That I have months to go.. that some fake baby is going to make me wanna throw myself off a window ledge! He must have not liked that idea..." I leaned down to her stomach. "I promise, son, it's not what I'll do with you." I kissed her stomach and laughed. "Any chance we can ditch it in a closet and forget it?" I asked standing up straight.

I laughed, shaking my head and running my fingers through his hair. "Not if I want to pass the class. Ms. Grint says this is worth 60% of our grades. Besides, it will just cry if we don't shut it up with the key, and it records it as neglect."

"Damn.." I laughed. "Well, that sucks.. not even a dad yet and already losing sleep to a screaming baby!" I kissed the side of her head as we came up to her class and rubbed her arms. "I'll see you after your class is over. I love you."

"I love you too," I told him silently, giving him a soft smile before walking into the class. "Nice of you to join us, Miss Parisi. Just because you're going to have a real one of these," she said, holding up one of the babies for emphasis, "doesn't mean that you can skip out on class and not get one." I bit my lip for a second. "Yes, Ms. Grint. I'm sorry." She waved her hand. "Have a seat." I nodded and took my seat next to Tommy. "It's ok," he whispered. "I'm sure you're already better at this than all of us are going to be." I smiled over at him, thanking him, and turning my attention back to Ms. Grint.

I gave Bianca one last glance before turning on my heel and heading off to class. Something about that bathroom visit made the entire day better. We both got things off our chest we needed too. I walked inside my class, taking a seat and laughing when the teacher caught me. Even though she was yelling nothing could ruin my day.