Some news.. just for you!

"Kyle, don't pull her hair.." I said, stopping in the doorway and downing the rest of my water as I popped the pills in. However I was stopped from what I was doing by Jackson's voice. "Yeah?" I said, leaving Kyle and Tammy in the bedroom and coming down the hall.

"Go ahead, both of you. I'll just sit down and wait here for you." Pops said, and I patted him on the back. "Thanks, Pops." I looked over at Dante and nodded at him, walking past him and coming up to Abigail in the hall. "Pops wants to take Dante and me out to celebrate testosterone. Is that alright with you?" I knew Kyle could help her out, but I still wanted to know if Abigail was alright with it.

"Sure, me and Kyle, B and Tammy can go to dinner and movie.. and then I need to figure out what I'm going to do about my living situation.. so go ahead." I gave him a smile. Even if I wasn't happy with it, though I wasn't, but if I was, I'd not really have much say in it. "Have fun!"

"Thanks, Pops." I said before walking out the door and down the steps. I came out the door and spotted Bianca. "Hey, Bianca, Jackson, Pops and I are going to go out for some fun. Is that okay? I mean not that I have to ask but I think I should anyways.."

"Living situation?" I shook my head. "Baby. You need to be with someone right now. That's why you agreed to come home with me, remember? So I can help you with the shampoo bottle. And the pickle bottle." She had taken a shower all by herself this morning, but that was only because I was completely out of it. I would have been in there with her if I'd known she was awake. "Why are you even thinking of being on your own right now when you know that you need somebody?"

I quickly wiped my tears away, taking in a deep breath. "Yeah, sure," I said, keeping my back to him, staring down the beautiful New York street. But everything was blah lately. Not even my favorite city in the world could make me happy. I just wish I could rewind time and go back to Fremont... when I was still pregnant with Tammy. "Go ahead. Have fun."

"Okay..." I said staring at her back. "Thanks for understanding.. I'll be home later.. so I don't feel like I'm leaving part of the story out.. we're eh.. going to the strip club. I'll talk to you when I get home.." I wanted to reach out and touch her but I decided that would ruin what I wanted or what I had said I wanted. I turned and headed back inside.

"I know I agreed to it yesterday.. when I was doped up.. but today, yes, I hurt a little but I feel fine. And I can't stay here forever.. I can take care of myself.. Jackson, please, just understand.. I like taking care of myself.." I sighed. "I know I'm being selfish.. I do.. but I don't want to rely on you when we aren't together. Just go have fun.."

"You need to rely on someone!" I told her, not budging. "You've got two more lives to think about than just your own. I want to be here for you. I need to be here for you. Why can't you just accept that? Why can't you accept that I want to do something unselfish for a change?" I really tried to be unselfish more often than not, but I would never live that one moment down where I had been ultimately selfish.

I let my head drop, the tears starting up again once I heard his footsteps retreat back up the stairs. Of course he'd want something like that... He didn't need me anymore. I wasn't anything to him anymore. Just the mother of his child, and that didn't matter at all. I sat on the bottom step and let the tears fall. I didn't care. I couldn't hold them in any longer.

"What do you mean I got two more lives to think of? As if I don't think of them every second since I found out? I know I do! But I can take care of them and me! You only want me here because you want me to fall at your feet again and take you back.. so we can be some big happy fucking family! Well it doesn't work that way now, Jackson! Not since i could possibly be carrying Jeff's baby and Carly could be carrying yours! Things are different! That won't change just because you want it too! Just because you wanna pretend everything's okay when it's not!!!"

"You know what, Abigail! I don't give a flying fuck who's children you're carrying!" I wanted her to know, but I didn't necessarily mean for it to come out that way. "I want them to be mine, but whether they are or not doesn't mean I'm going to love you or them any less than I do! I don't know about you, but love for me is unconditional. My love for you is forever. But I guess you lost sight of that somewhere along the way." I turned away. "By the way. Don't wait up. We're going to a tittie bar." I was pissed. I knew that, but that didn't excuse my behavior. I walked back into the living room when Dante came back in through the front door. "Can we get the hell out of here?" Pops used his cane to slowly pull himself up, looking back at Dante and then to me. "Let's go."

I sat there, my mouth open in shock. I wasn't sure what to do or say. "And you were planning on hiding it!" I said loudly. I turned, glared at him in the living room. I took in a deep breath, angry beyond words and walked back into the living room. "Oh, yes, your love is so fucking perfect! Go fuck another bitch! You're good at that! Asshole!" I picked up a picture frame and tossed it in his direction before stalking off down the hall. "Kyle, Tammy, why don't we go get B and go to the movies..." I said, my teeth clenched together so i didn't scream.

I went to tell Jackson hell yeah when she went off and tossed a picture toward him. "Damn... yeah.. let's go." i said, trying not to laugh.

Turning my head back toward the hall, I knew I shouldn't give her the satisfaction, but it had to come out. I hadn't even known the frame was coming toward me before it crashed on the wall past me. "I'm not the one who has the torrid affairs, that would be you." Pops put his hand on my shoulder, pulling me toward the door. "Come on, son. You can get shitfaced at the bar." I sighed heavily, and looked up at Dante. "Lemme guess, you got a brick tossed at you when you told ZhiZhi."

"No.. but it wasn't any easier." Only because I knew she was upset. "Let's go." I said, leading him and Pops down the stairs and out the door. We got in Pops car and headed for the club.