Count my vulgarities...

I sniffled, not bothering to wipe my face because I wanted him to think I was sleeping. I took in a shaky breath, keeping my back to him.

I listened to her breathing to see if she was asleep. I was pretty sure she wasn't, but that wasn't going to stop me from praying. I clasped my hands over my chest, sighing heavily. "God, I'm thankful to thee for all that thou has blessed my life with. I'm thankful for my son. I'm thankful for my career. But most of all, I'm thankful for Abigail. She's the love of my life, and I pray that one day she'll see that and we can have the future we deserve, together, as a happy family. Please bless us all of what we need. Amen."

I bit my lip hard, trying to hide my tears, but the harder I fought the harder they came. I sniffled softly. I wish I believed in us the way he did. I wish I believed the pain would stop if I let him back in... if I fixed us. I sank more into my pillow, trying to stop my tears.

I heard her tears and I turned toward her, wrapping my arms around her. "Don't cry, baby. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. Ever. I promise you."

"It doesn't change you always hurting me... me always hurting you.. I don't wanna hurt anymore." I said, not bothering to push his arm off me.

I shook my head. "I'm never going to hurt you again, baby. You're too important to me. You're my life. You're everything to me. You know that. There isn't anything I wouldn't do to make you happy forever, baby."

i turned to look at him. "You said that before and what happened this afternoon? You went and watched whores shake their boobies around and rubbed it in my face to hurt me. You hurt me again! You did that on purpose and you were mean to me." I brushed my face dry. "I'm in pain, and pregnant, and tired and you left to go do stupid shit and get drunk. You left me.. and you hurt me, again!"

I pulled her closer to me, kissing the top of her head. "Those girls mean nothing to me. They're no different than the fucking flight crew, baby. Nothing is as important to me and I'm sorry. Please forgive me! I'd do anything for you to forgive me and just be with me again. My life means nothing without you."

I sniffled, wiping my face dry. "I don't wanna talk anymore, Jackie. I just wanna sleep." I never called him Jackie but I wanted to get my point across. "Just sleep. I'm exhausted."

I didn't let go of her and I didn't move. "I just want you to know, I'm not going anywhere. Ever."