What can I do?

I quickly got ready to go and headed straight for the hospital. When Abigail called, I was scared shitless that something had happened to her again. I didn't know what I'd do if anything happened to her. She was the most important person in this world to me, and I wanted her to know that. I drove like a bat out of hell to the hospital, not caring if I got pulled over. Abigail needed me. I considered calling Dante, but I'd wait until I talked to Abigail. Tossing my keys at the valet driver, I ran into the hospital, finding Abigail waiting in the waiting area. Running over to her, I dropped down in front of her, placing my hands on her knees. "I'm here, baby!" I told her, almost breathless. She needed me here, and there wasn't anything I was going to do but that.

I turned my eyes slowly to Jackson, trying to focus my blurry eyes on him. "Hi.." I said slowly, letting out a low sigh. "The doctor said B was okay.. at least for now. Dante's with her. They said she's okay.. but.. how can someone be okay when they lose that much blood.. there was so much blood. They put a sheet over the guy.. and then B.. so much blood." I took in a deep breath. "What are you doing here?" I thought about it. "Oh, right.. I called you.. where's Kyle.. oh with Hannah.. I tried calling Carly but she didn't answer.." I took in a deep breath through my rambling. "I'm okay. I'm just going to sit here and wait for Dante to come back and say B's okay.."

I tucked her hair behind her ear, swallowing hard at all the blood on her. All of this was ZhiZhi's blood. I can't believe I had said what I did about her, thought what I did about her. Abigail needed her, and maybe if I would have let her go and not even ask questions, Abigail could have gotten there and kept this from happening... But I didn't even know what happened. What if I would have let her go and she would have gotten there right in the middle of this bloodbath. I didn't know if that would have happened. I didn't know anything. The only thing I knew is that Abigail was safe. She seemed a little ... she was in shock. That's what this was. I had to do something to help that. "Baby, we need to get you cleaned up so that when you see ZhiZhi she knows that you're ok. You don't want her seeing you like this. She's gonna need you, and I'm going to be here for you all along the way." She had said that Dante was here, so I didn't have to call him. Yeah, they may have fought earlier, but him being here now proved that that didn't matter. I should never said the things to him about her that I did. I felt horrible. I shouldn't have said the things I did to Abigail about her. All I could do now was make things better.

"No.." I said, pushing his hands away from me. "I'm sitting right here. I'll wait for Dante." I took in a deep breath. "I'm not moving."

I sighed, knowing it was useless to argue with her. "Do you want to go see her now? Do we have to wait for Dante to get back? Is she only allowed one visitor?" I didn't think ZhiZhi seeing her like this would be good, but no one could argue with her when she'd made up her mind.

"I don't know." I said, keeping my eyes forward. "The doctor didn't say.. I just let Dante go first." I felt my empty stomach turn. I touched it softly, keeping my eyes forward. "He still loves her.. even if he was mad she told the truth he still loves her. I can tell in his eyes. He can't live without her. She'll be happy when she wakes up and sees him there."

I nodded my head. "Their love is a lot like ours. Things may not seem right all the time, but there's nothing that keeps us from loving each other." I slid my arm around her. "Come on, lets go see if you can go see her too."

"You can ask.. I'm sitting right here and waiting for Dante. If they say it's okay come back and get me." I said softly.

"I'm not leaving you alone, baby. Come on, we'll go together. Can you stand?" I would carry her if I had to. "How are the babies? Are they alright?"

"They're fine." I said, keeping my eyes forward. "Just ask someone. If they say no I don't wanna miss Dante in case he comes back to tell me about B."

"I'm not leaving your side, baby." I moved to sit beside her, pulling her into my arms. "We'll stay here and wait for Dante."

I laid my head on his shoulder, sighing slightly. "Okay.. then we wait together." I was so tired but I knew I wasn't going to be able to sleep. I was so hungry but I knew the second I put anything in my mouth I'd only puke it back up. I was itchy from the dried blood but I knew if I left this spot before Dante got back and told me himself B was okay I'd jinx something and she'd get hurt because of me. Because I left the last spot I saw her in alive.. in the last pair of clothes I wore when she was alive. I didn't want to do that.. I know it was crazy thoughts.. I did.. but my mind was set on it. I was scared. I buried my head in his shoulder, silent tears rolling down my cheeks.

I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to help her, so I simply held her. I was where I needed to be. Dante was where he needed to be, and when the moment came that Abigail was able to go see her cousin, I'd be right there with her by her side. I kissed the top of her head, breathing in deeply, whispering against the top of her dark brown locks, "I love you, baby. Always and forever."

I turned my head up to look at him. "I love you too." I said softly, hearing Dante's voice. I turned, standing up and facing him. "How is she?" I asked. "She looks sick.. and I swore I felt her move.. but she's not awake. She's okay though.. heart's beating strong." I smiled. "Can we all go see her?" He nodded. "Sure can." He looked at Jackson. "Thanks for coming brother. Follow me" He patted his shoulder and we all headed toward B's room. I grabbed Jackson's hand, because I knew I'd get nowhere without it.

I lead them onto the elevator and back up to Lily's room. I hadn't thought the name Lily in a long time.. but that's who she was, my Lily. My beautiful delicate flower. I can't believe I had wasted so much time being so damn angry at her that she almost died believing I truly hated her. Which was the furthest from the truth. I lead them over to her room and opened the door, walking over and sitting down on her bed as I took her hand. "Hey, Lily," I said, using my favorite nickname for her. "Abby and Jackson are here to see you. Why don't you open those beautiful eyes and tell them hello for me.."

I held Abigail by my side, keeping her standing. I knew how hard this was for her, to see her cousin like this, someone she thought of as a sister. Just like I thought of Dante as my brother. We were all that close. It was how it was supposed to be. I looked over to Dante sitting on the bed holding ZhiZhi's hand. She didn't look so good. God, I had no idea how I'd be remaining so calm if I was in his shoes. If Abigail was in Bianca's place, I wouldn't be able to be anywhere near as calm as Dante was. I was in the same position as I was when I got here. I was here for support. I was here to support Abigail, my soul mate, so she could be here for her cousin, and Dante, so he could be there for his soul mate.

When her eyes didn't slide open, like I so badly wanted, I felt tears prick my eyes. "Damn it.." I said softly under my breath. "She's just tired." I said. "That's all. She's just tired and needs some rest." I turned to look back at them. "Why don't you two go home and sleep I'm going to sleep here tonight. Could you pick up Tammy tomorrow so she can hang out with you guys and Kyle?" I was asking them to leave but there was no point in us all sitting here. "Has anyone spoke to Carly and told her not to worry?"

"No," I said staring at B. She looked so sick.. so little. It broke my heart. I wanted to cry but I tried to keep it in just in case she woke up. "I tried calling Carly but her phone was off." I looked up at Jackson. "Can you try calling her.." i looked back at Dante. "I don't wanna leave.. I should stay here with her." He turned to look back at me. "Abby you look sick as a dog. Go home, eat, sleep and come back in the morning. Lily would kill me if something happened to you or the babies. So, please, go ahead and rest she's okay she just needs to rest. I'll rest with her."

I looked down at Abigail. "I agree with Dante. You need to come home with me and let me feed you like I had planned earlier. Then We'll try to get some sleep. I promise, I'll bring you down here the first thing in the morning. Let's just go home and get you some rest." I didn't know how to tell Abigail about Carly being gone, and Dante... even though he was asking about her, his number one concern was ZhiZhi, just like my number one concern was Abigail. "As for Carly, uh..." I sighed, deciding it best to come out with it, or at least the safe version of it. "She and I got into an argument... She's gone. I don't know where she's gone and she doesn't want anything to do with me either. But I'm sure we can get in touch with her somehow."

I looked up at him. "What did you fight about? I just left before this.." i let out a heavy breath. "Never mind it's not my business." I walked into the room, coming over to B and kissing her cheek. "I'll be back in the morning, B. I love you. Thank you for staying with us.. I need you.." I looked at Dante. "Thank you for staying with her." He shook his head. "Don't thank me." I leaned in, kissing his cheek. "I love you, Dante." He smiled at me and down at B. "We both love you too. Go on home so when Bianca wakes up in the morning she'll be able to have you alert and healthy." He brushed her hair out of her face, kissing her hand. He seemed so positive. Like he knew she'd be okay.. I wish I could feel the same way he did. I turned and walked out the door, waiting for Jackson to say his goodbye if he needed. I leaned against the wall, letting out a slow sigh. I wanted to ask so badly what his argument with Carly was about but I let it go.. it wasn't my business. "Jeff.." I said under my breath. He'd want to know about B. "Jackson, stay here." I said, heading off down the hall. I put some loose change from my pocket in the payphone and dialed his number.

"She'll be okay." I said, looking back at Jackson. "I'm not worried.. she's strong. I mean how many people make it through a bullet to the head? Not very many if any at all. She's strong and she'll survive, right? I'm not just wishful thinking.." Yes the walls were cracking some but I was trying to keep up my strength. "She has to be okay so I can tell her I'm sorry and that I do love her. More than anything in this world." I looked back at Bianca, kissing her hand. "Go ahead and go.. I'm fine." I know Abby told him to wait but still. I felt like with his standing there I was slowly losing my strength. Like I knew it was okay too.

I had walked over to him as he was speaking to me, patting him on the back. "Yes, man. She's going to be just fine. She's a fighter." She was just like Abigail. It was in their blood. "We'll be back in the morning, brother." I looked down at ZhiZhi. "Hear me, ZhiZhi. Abigail and I will be back in the morning, so you get your rest while we're gone." I leaned down closer to her. "Make sure this old man here gets some rest too," I said, referring to Dante. "Make him lay down with you or something. He looks like he could use some shuteye." I stood, looking back down at my brother. "Do try and get some rest, buddy." I patted him again. I knew much more contact than that, he'd probably be in a heap of tears... I knew I would be, and I knew he wanted to stay strong for ZhiZhi. Nodding, I gave him a reassuring smile, stepping back. "Good night, you two." I made my way to the door.

"Good night." I said, not even looking at Jackson. When I heard the door shut. I stood, shutting the light off, sliding my shoes off and gently crawling in the bed next to Bianca. I wrapped my arms around her, kissed her cheek and closed my eyes. "Good night, my Lily." I whispered. "I do love you. Rest well."

I hung up the phone, feeling angry at Jackson not mentioning he was going to be a father. Part of me wondered if he knew but then I knew he had to know.. if she was there she would've told him. They probably celebrated and got in a fight.. or just fought, either way he knew.. and maybe he didn't tell me because of B.. but still. I felt angry. The first thing I did was tell him about the test. I saw him coming and took a deep breath. "I need to go back to the store to get my car. Can you drive me there and then I'll drive myself home?" I asked softly.

"You don't need to be alone tonight, baby. Stay with Kyle and me tonight." She seemed pissed at me, but for what reason, I didn't know why. "Lemme guess," I said, thinking out loud, "you're upset because I didn't tell you that Carly came over." I sighed heavily. "She came over just after you left. She got her DNA test back. I'm the father."