This doesn't have to be harder than it already is

I stood with Dante, my arms wrapped around him from behind as the mortician finished setting up the caskets. We stood at a distance while he did his job. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to do. I was here to support Dante, and that's all I could do. I knew all those vultures were circling the church and I knew the stories they had to be cooking up for their rags, but I couldn't focus on that. I was here for Dante. Nothing else mattered. I kissed the back of his shoulder and hugged him more. I'd let him take the step toward the caskets when he was ready.

I didn't like watching them set up caskets. The idea that my son and his mother were in there.. it was sickening. It made my stomach turn, but, yet, I still stood here, watching. I hated that they had separated my son and his son, but, I guess I got what they meant about needing to see what had caused both the baby and his mother to die and you couldn't do one without taking the other out.. so I was stuck.. with two very sad coffins sitting before me. I closed my eyes, breathing in deeply, grabbing Bianca's hand, holding it tightly as she held me from behind.

I let her hand and mine rest against my chest. "It's crazy knowing they're in there.. you know what I mean?" I asked Bianca, looking back at her slightly. "Knowing my son will never ride a bike, read a book, learn his ABC's... or any of the things that DJ got to do.. and knowing Kylie will never find herself a man who would love her and only her like she deserved." I sighed, still not really ready to get any closer.

I walked into the room and almost threw up on my Diego di Luccas. There they were, the two who had murdered my daughter practically making out here in the middle of a church. Not that I was a religious person myself, but it was them who wanted to have the funeral here, so I was sure they believed in all this hocus pocus. I would think their god would have them struck down for their nefarious deeds alone, yet here they were almost fucking each other out in the middle of the room for everyone to see.

I walked past them, shedding my jacket and dropping it on one of the benches, heading up toward the front of the chapel. "Be gone with you!" I scolded the mortician. "You can't do anything more than you've already done. I've got this!" I told him, pushing him out of the way so I could continue to arrange the flowers. It was what I did for a living. I was the best damned florist this side of Melrose. A mortician didn't know shit about arrangements. I wasn't about to let him fuck up this day for my daughter. She wasn't going to get the wedding she wanted. The least I could do was make her funeral better than any man who plays with dead bodies could do.

"As for you two," I said, not even turning to face them. "You're not needed here. You can just go off and fuck each other some place else. Don't you think you've disgraced my daughter enough as it is? You don't need to be fucking here in front of her." I turned, looking down into the casket and fixing her hair. "Isn't that right, Precious? If you could, you'd get out of this box and kick that prissy little bitches ass. You can haunt her all you want, my little one. They deserve that and more." I felt like breaking down, but I was a strong bitch for a reason, and I wasn't going to let anyone see differently.

I stared in amazement at Danica. She was a bitch. I knew that much but to speak so awful not only in front of my son but her own daughter, and causing a scene during the beginning of a funeral, I was livid. I felt myself tense up and took a slow breath in. "I'm not going anywhere, Miss. Forbes. I told you that. I'm sorry your slower than most but I told you the day you came to my home I wasn't missing my son's funeral no matter how much you hate it. I will also tack on if you make a scene here, I'll make you leave, no second thoughts."

I turned, walking over to the two of them, my gaze fixed on Dante. "You are nothing to my daughter! Do you understand that? I understand that that brat in the box next to her is yours, but that makes you NOTHING to my daughter! You and this cunt," nodding my head to Bianca, but not turning my eyes to her as I kept them straight on Dante, "just wanted her out of the way so you could raise your bastard together and you treated my daughter like SHIT!" I shook my head, trying to keep myself calm. "I can't believe you went so far to have your whore kill her just so you could have your," my look grew more disdained, "whatever." I turned away from them, walking back over to my daughter. "Just stay away from her. You've done enough."

I wanted to run. I wanted to leave, but I had promised Dante I'd be here with him. I promised him I'd be here with him through this. I felt him tensing up in my arms and I stood there even more steadfast. I was here for him and nothing would tear me away from him.

My teeth gritted more by the second. I felt my hands trembling and I knew I wanted to hit her and God help me had she been a man I would have.. but my morals, the things my mother taught me was coming out in me and forcing me to keep my hands to myself. However my words were more than willing to rip out at her. "You have no idea what in the fuck you are talking about. And I swear to God, I will kick you out of this place if you say one more God damn word about either of my sons or Bianca. I mean it." I was shaking but I was keeping myself from hitting her as hard as I possibly could in the face.

"No comment." I told the reporters as I walked up the steps of the chapel. I walked inside, letting the door shut behind me and undoing my jacket. I could hear someone.. they were angry. I peeked into the chapel as I got my jacket undone and seen Dante and Bianca standing in the middle of the aisle, a woman up near the coffins. She was being terrible to them. Dante got out what he needed and I stepped forward.

"I think you're being really unfair, ma'am. I know you're hurting but it's not fair to take it out on Dante and Bianca. They're hurting over this loss as much as you are. Especially Dante." I said, folding my coat over my arm as I came near my sister and Dante. I gave them both a hug, giving both my regrets of their loss. Even Bianca didn't love Kylie I knew she would have learned to love that little boy and she had to be hurting over the loss, especially given the world believed it was her fault when it wasn't.

Abby's Funeral Attire

I turned to face the intruder and shook my head. "I don't give a damn what you think or what you say, Princess." I knew who she was. Big Country star. She just walks in here acts like she owns the place and can dictate everything. Just like a spoiled princess. I turned back to my daughter, smoothing out her dress. "Now if you two could leave me and my daughter alone, I'd like some time with her before all of you people who don't matter start filing in here and hording her."

I was glad my sister was here. Jacob was her nephew anyway, even if he wasn't mine. He was Jackson's nephew and that made him hers, even if they were going through a divorce. I knew she still loved him, but things were a mess right now between them. I knew that they could fix things though. If Dante and I were, I knew they could. "Just ignore her," I whispered to both Dante and my sister. "But we don't have to go anywhere you don't want to, babe," I told Dante, kissing his shoulder again. I knew he wanted to tear her limb from limb, and if we weren't in a church, or if she was a guy, he most definitely would. I knew that about him. He'd sling all the words he had at her, but he wouldn't lay a hand on her, especially in a church.

I pulled my jeep toward the church and saw all the reporters outside and decided to park behind the church and come in through the priest's entrance. I wasn't in the mood to deal with all of them. Even if they didn't know who I was, or if they did know I had been Bianca's arresting officer and I was Dante's friend, I didn't want to swim through that sea.

I parked the jeep and headed in the back, coming into the chapel at the front where a woman was standing by one of the open caskets and Dante, Bianca and... I took a deep breath seeing Abigail. She was always so breathtakingly beautiful. The woman glared over at me, daggers shooting from her eyes. "I don't care if you're a priest or a deacon or whatever you are, I would like some time alone with my daughter. Could you please get these fuckers out of here?"

My eyes widened. If she thought I was a priest, I couldn't believe she was talking to me like that. Disregarding her behavior, I chalked it up to bitterness and grief and walked past her. Coming up to Dante, I could tell he was upset, and if that woman's behavior was any indicator, I knew why. I came up to him and slowly gave him a hug. I knew he was upset himself, but this was his son he was burying today. He needed all the support he could get.

"Mi dispiace, Dante. I am sorry," I told him, both in my native tongue and in English. Some things I said in Italian I said quite often and I knew everyone knew what I was saying, but the English came out after just as naturally. Turning from him, I gave Bianca a gentle hug. "Are you alright, B?" She was only able to nod her head. I gave her arms a slight rub before turning to Abigail.

"Caramella," I whispered, closing the distance between the two of us and taking her in my arms. Even if she had said she wanted to be single, that didn't mean that I wouldn't always be here for her. She needed support just as much as Bianca did, even if their loss wasn't as great as Dante's.

If she was anyone else I'd grant her that alone time, but my luck she'd lock us out of the church and I'd miss my own son's funeral. I wasn't taking my chances. "Maybe when you can learn to ask nicer I'll take a few steps back and give you a little more privacy." I turned to Jeff and Abby. "Thank you both for coming. I appreciate the support and thank you Jeff, but don't be sorry, I'm taking great pleasure knowing he'll never meet that woman. Even in this terrible time." Abby laughed, which caused me to chuckle. "Thank you though. To both of you." I hugged Bianca to my side, watching Danica. She loved her daughter but it didn't seem she gave a lick about her unborn grandson.

"Well," I said under my breath. I wanted to ask the others to give the lady her room but after that little display I said screw it. She was being a downright bitch and she didn't deserve kindness. That wasn't anger over her daughter's death, that was.. I wasn't sure what that was but she was a bitch. That's all I needed to know. I looked up at Jeff, giving him a tight squeeze. "You're welcome." I told Dante, smiling. I was sure Jackson would come.. and if he did I was sure he wouldn't hold back his anger the rest of us were.. he'd told that woman in the front where to go. "Maybe I should talk to her.. you know mother to mother..." I knew that probably wouldn't go well.. but I could try?

"Are you sure that is what you want to do, Caramella?" I asked her quietly. "She does not seem to want to let anyone in." I looked up at the woman at the front of the chapel. "It seems to me that all she cares about is who she is to Kylie and nothing else. I do not believe it would be wise for you approach her." But I wasn't going to tell her no. I would only tell her that I didn't think it was a good idea.

I agreed with Freddie, but I knew my sister probably better than anyone. If she really wanted to go up and talk to the woman who I hadn't met until now, but Dante had told me about her and when she came in like a hurricane, I knew it was Kylie's mother. I looked up at Dante. "Do you think if A talked to her it would make a difference?" I looked back at my sister. "She's not a nice lady, A. You've seen that." But I knew my sister could handle herself. She always had been able to. She had that flare to her, that sass. If she was going to do it, nothing that woman would say would deter her.

"No, that's a terrible idea because that woman is a vulture and there's nothing you could say to get her to stop being a bitch." I shrugged. "Sorry, but it's the truth. All she'll do is make more of a scene. Let's just go sit." I took Bianca's hand led her over to the first row of benches. I helped her sit before doing the same as her. I wrapped my arm around her and let my free hand take hers.

"Okay, you guys are right." I took Jeff's hand, walking over to sit next to Bianca, letting Jeff sit on my other side. "We just sit here quietly and hope she doesn't say anything.." I said under my breath.

I had come with my parents and Auntie T after dropping the kids off at Abby's parents' house. Pops parked his SUV and I opened the door for my momma and Auntie T after getting out of the front seat. I wrapped my arm around my momma pulling her close to me as we battled through the paparazzi. Pops held Auntie T close too shutting the door behind us as we entered the vestibule. "Those fuckers don't give a damn about anything! Jesus Christ!"

Momma looked up at me, that motherly scorn in her eyes. "Jackson Davis Frost, remember your manners!" Didn't matter how old I got, I knew my momma would always be treating me like her baby boy. With a solemn nod, I softly spoke back to her. "Yes, momma." Pops placed his hand on my back, prompting us to move toward the chapel. "Come on. Dante needs us in there with him, not out here complaining about what's on the other side of those doors."

I nodded my head and walked with my arm around my momma's shoulders with Pops and Auntie T. Dante was sitting up front with Bianca and Abby and.......... "What in the FUCK!?!" Momma looked up at me again as though I had already forgotten what she had just said. "What? She's my wife and he's got his tentacles all over her. Fucking Goomba." Pops wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me close to him.

"Come on, son. We're here for Dante. I know how much you love your wife. You know we all do, but right now you need to put all that away and just focus on the reason why we're here. Dante needs us right now." I took a deep breath and nodded, walking up and sitting down beside my brother. Putting my arm around his shoulders, I pulled him against my side, trying my best to stop thinking about Abigail and the Limp Noodle, but even though I was going to give Dante my support, I knew I wouldn't stop thinking about them.

"Hey," I spoke quietly, hugging my brother. "How are you hangin' in there?" I didn't know what I'd do if I lost my child. If I ever lost JJ or Audrey, I don't know what I'd do. But I wanted my brother to know that I was there for him. Pops leaned over, placing his hand on Dante's shoulder. "We're all here for you son." He looked over at Bianca, nodding down to her. "You too, baby girl. We're all family here," he said, and I was sure that last part was directed at me even though he wasn't looking at me. He was referring to the smug Guido, his grubby hands feeling up MY wife!

I saw Jackson come in and sit down beside Dante. I was sure I should take my arm off of Abigail's shoulders, but I wasn't going to do that, because she needed comfort right now even if her husband wasn't the one giving it. They were divorcing, and even though she said she wanted to be single, I was still in love with her and I wasn't going to stop loving her or showing her my love and giving her comfort right now just because he was here. "Are you alright, Caramella?" I whispered softly beside her, hoping she was and that she could handle this.

I stood with Dante as Pops leaned down to hug us, meeting his embrace around both of us. Dante needed the hug more than I did, but I appreciated the words he was saying anyway. Even after everything, he still considered me his family, even if Dante and I weren't married. I was still the mother of his grandson. I guess that made me enough of family too him, and I knew how important family was to the man. "Thank you, Pops." I had almost called him Jackie, but I knew he'd correct me like he had all those times before years ago. He still kept us tight in his embrace before stepping back so Dante's mom could hug us.

I gave my mom a hug, thanking her and pops and Auntie Chelle who gave me a hug too for coming. "Thank you all for coming." I said with a weak smile. "No need to thank us, baby." Mom said, giving my face a kiss before taking Pops' hand and sitting down over by Jeff. Michelle followed after giving Jackson a reassuring squeeze to his cheeks. "Be good." She told him, smiling at me, giving me a quick peck on the cheek and walking over to sit next to Pops and mom. I looked over at Jackson. "Thanks for coming." I told him patting his shoulder. I held Bianca's hand tighter as the church started getting more full. Some people I knew. Others I had no clue who or how they knew Kylie or my son. But they were here.

"I'm okay." I told Jeff, giving him a smile. "A little tired.. but okay." I turned my head some when I heard Jackson. He didn't even manage a hello to me.. which hurt but I sucked it up. I wasn't making a scene today. "How about you? It's gotta hurt.. you know about work.. are you okay?" I asked, smiling at momma and chelle, as well as Pops as they walked by.

She seemed so happy with that fucking Pasta Head. I wanted to go right over and rip his spline out through his gullet. I hated him! She had said, to both of us, that she just wanted to be single, and yet here she was, letting him paw her up. I was seething. They may as well be getting a room together with how much they were all over each other. She turned her gaze away from me toward him and I wanted to poke my eyeballs out. How could she fucking do that to me? To us? I looked back over at Dante and knew I had to keep my calm. This day wasn't about Abigail and me. I had to keep myself in check. I sat back against the seat and tried to remain quiet.

"You do not need to worry about that, Caramella," I told her, rubbing her arm gently. "Let me be here for you right now. Do not worry about anything else."

Kylie's mother had finally taken her seat on the pew across from us, looking indignant and self righteous, but I wasn't going to focus on her. Instead, I focused on Dante's hand wrapped around mine and placed my other hand over his. I leaned closer to him, whispering softly, just to remind him, "I'm here for you, baby." I knew he didn't need to be told that, because I was here, sitting right beside him, but I wanted to tell him again. I wanted him to know I wasn't going anywhere. The priest got up in front of us and started the service. All I could do was be here for Dante, even though all I wanted to do was hide from the world. Dante was more important to me than my pride or my fear.